6 days later but ay! lol WE BROKE-UP Part. 2 :)

     My dad attempted to ask me what happened, but I just didn’t feel like having this conversation on Christmas, so I just stayed in my room for the majority of the day. I have never felt this way before. I am such a family oriented person and to distance myself from my family was totally out of my character, but my heart hurt so bad. My body didn’t want to move, my mouth didn’t want to speak, and my ears didn’t want to hear nor listen to anyone but Crystal.

     I must have called her a million times last night and I got her voice mail every single time.

     “You have reached Ms. Chrys, Sorry I’m not able to answer the phone. I must be somewhere being fabulous. Just kidding. I’ll give you a call back as soon as I can. Tootles.”

     After awhile I knew she wasn’t going to answer my calls but I kept calling just to hear her voice. Although it’s just been merely hours since I seen her, it felt much longer and I already missed her cute face, her humor, her sophistication, and most of all her love, which I didn’t know she had for me.

     What the fuck was I thinking that night? I mean yea Robin is bad as hell, but I loved Crystal, just never told her. And I told that bitch Robin not to say nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing and that hoe still did exactly what I told her not to do.

     All of a sudden so much anger came over me, I immediately leaned over my bed, found my phone on the charger on the floor and dialed Robin.

     Robin:       Well, Merry Christmas baby - Robin said after the first ring.

     Desmond:  Bitch, I ain’t your damn Baby!

     Robin:       Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Who in the hell are you calling Bitch?

     Desmond:  You Robin, YOUUUUUUUU!

     Robin:       OH NO THE HELL YOU NOT! I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO  BUT YOU DAMN SHOLL AIN’T TALKING TO ME LIKE YOU CRAZY.

     Desmond:  DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING???!!!

     Robin:        Ay, I did what I had to do when you weren’t answering my calls after you gave me the best fuck of my life.

     Desmond:   So we playing games? Is that what you saying? We playing games?

     Robins:       You the one playing games. You the one that told me that you was going to break up with Crystal and be with me, then I don’t hear from you. So who playing games Desmond? Who is the one playing games?

     Desmond:    Break up with Crystal? I ain’t never say that shit! Don’t be sitting up here lying and shit, Robin.

     Robin:         YES YOU DID. THAT SAME NIGHT, YOU SAID THAT TO ME!

     A burst of laughter shot out of me. This bitch serious?

     “I was DRUNK Robin. Both you and me knew that. And you believed that? Why would you believe anything I said to you that night? Are you kidding me?”

     I heard cries, sobbing, and CLICK!

     I can’t believe this. I threw my phone across the room and laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Not soon after I heard a knock on my door and my little sister, Asia barged in. She has always been my soft spot.

      She jumped on top of me, right on my nuts.

     Desmond: Ahhhhhhhhh.Asiiiaaaa!!!!

     Asia:         Don’t you just love when I do that?-She said with a huge smirk on her face.

     

     Recovering from that instant pain, I grabbed her and tickled her until she started to cry. I let her go then she punched me in my arm.

     Asia:        Mom said dinner was ready and to get your ass downstairs.

     My eyes nearly shot out of my sockets.

     Desmond: Little girl what did you say?

     She started laughing... 

     Asia:         Nothing.

     Desmond: I’m telling ma, you up here cursing.

     Asia:        Ay, that’s just what she said. I just repeated what she said.

     Desmond:Whatever, com’ on little girl. Let’s eat.

     I ran out of my room and down the stairs leaving her behind.

     Asia:         Ayyyy punk! You didn’t even open my gift this morning.

     Christmas dinner was just as it always was with lots of food, laughter, movies, and my mom’s best desserts to finish the night off just right. Crystal left my mind for those moments, but she quickly returned as soon as I went back to my room and started to settle down. Her pictures were still present in my room so that was the first thing I saw when I entered and all that anger and pain from earlier rushed right back to me.

     I took an extra long steamy shower but the image of her walking awa y from me back into her house after she broke up with me with kept replaying over and over again. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep that night, so I just laid in my bed listening to slow jams, until I drifted off into sleep.

     The next few days were tough, friends and family continued to ask about Crystal. I still didn’t want to talk about it. I was still unsure about what I was going to do. Was I just going to let her go or find out some other way to get through to her? I didn’t know. All I knew was that it was driving me crazy that I haven’t talked to her or seen her.

     On the weekend, I decided I needed to get out this rut I was in. I had ignored a lot of phone calls, didn’t leave the house, and basically listened to my music all day, I didn’t even go hoop with the guys, but I pried myself out of bed to go to the local gym a few blocks away and work out a little.

     That workout was a good idea because afterwards I felt refreshed, my mind was clear, and I felt ready for any and every thing. I left the gym with a new attitude too: I’m about to go get my girl back.

     
     I hopped straight in the shower as soon as I got home, threw on some comfy clothes, grabbed a cup of my mom’s homemade hot chocolate and laid down in my bed and finally checked my Facebook for the first time in days.

     I skimmed through my newsfeed past a whole bunch of “friends” I did not even know until I saw one of my team mates' status, it read: My heart goes out to Robin and her family.

     I continued to scroll down and similar statuses kept appearing…Robin, come back home….I love you Robin please come back…Robin, you don't deserve this….Robin, you won’t be forgotten,  we won’t stop until you are found.

     Extremely confused I called Rick, my team mate whose status was the first one I read.

     Desmond: Dude, what’s going on? I’m reading all these Facebook statuses about Robin…

     Rick:         Des, where have you been? Robin has been missing for a few days now.

     Shock went straight threw me and instantly my body went numb and my cup of hot chocolate fell into my lap, splattering all over me and my bed.

I Went Whoopi Over Her

This Tuesday we spotlight the talents of Whoopi Goldberg! She is amazing! 

Whoopi started out as  a comedian and transferred her talents to television and went on to act more dramatically in the cinema arts. One of her biggest dramatic roles was in Steven Spielberg's "The Color Purple". You youngsters might now her from her Sister Act fame while your mom or grandmother may note her as one of the host on ABC's talk show, "The View". Whoopi Goldberg is a part of the small group of entertainers who hold all four esteemed performance awards. Yes, Whoopi has a Grammy, Tony, Emmy, and an Oscar (multiple awards/nominations). She is also an accomplished author.

 But what I love most about Whoopi is that she has never strayed from her true self. That's one lesson we can all learn from her. Despite the great career she is woman, mother, grandmother, daughter, who strives to help others. Whoopi Goldberg in a humanitarian who fights for the rights of children, the homeless, she cares about human rights, education, substance abuse and is working to aware people of the battle against AIDS among other causes and charities she is involved in. 

Whoopi I salute you for your efforts in all facets of the media and for our community! 

Solace Sunday-Me Time

One of my friends told me that I need to start taking some me time! I'm taking her advice. Everyday I pledge to take at fifteen minutes to relax my mind, body, and spirit! How will I do it...by being quiet, meditating, surfing the net, and just doing nothing. Granted no one interrupts my fifteen minutes to myself.


This week find solace within yourself by setting aside fifteen-twenty minutes to detox from your day. When you leave work or school, leave the work/homework there for at least the period of your Me-Time. Turn-off the outside world for your Me-Time, that's what I plan to do!

Fashion Fwd from 11/23/12

Ok, so Misha you're not the only one that has been slacking on your posting (LOL)! I had all intentions on getting this post up Black Friday... But now it's Cyber Monday!


Did anyone find any good buys on either day? I went to Express where everything was 50% off! That's concluded my retail black market shopping. How about you?

Always on the move...

Motivational Monday...



Always remember to never get too comfortable where you at in life. You should always strive to go farther and continue to grow as a person and in your career, continue to do better and be better.

You never want to be at stuck at a standstill and you are capable of so much more. Always think about what you can do next, then after that, and after that. Don't get stuck in a routine!

I'll put it simple: K.I.M, Keep it Moving :)

Stay *(I)nspired, Misha J

ps. We broke-up Part 2 coming soon :) 

Truth is...

Truth is....I'm super behind on blogging but I'll catch up... :)

Truth is.... (November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day)

Truth is.....my love goes out to all those people out there that had to work on the night of Thanksgiving. I've seen commercials where stores were opening at 8pm. I was shocked! That's still Thanksgiving, a day where its all about spending time with your family. Why do companies just take take take take take from their employees and give back so little.

Then while I was on Facebook, I saw this...





 Folks! Why is this soooooo true? Sad and true.Its all about MONEY.
I have a lot more to say about the capitalism in America but I'll save Part 2 for Truth is...Thursday in the next two weeks.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, even if you had to work :(

Stay *(I)nspired, Misha J

Weekly Wisdom

Alright, so this wisdom I'm about to drop is very simplistic! 

This weekend while you are gathered with your family and friends make sure your words and actions match up with your beliefs and the person you profess to be! 

The holiday season is generally a time when families gather to celebrate and catch up. Often, they delve into discussions and debates. If you find yourself in a conversation or deeply rooted debate don't be strayed from your beliefs.....

~Motivating from a far~Ari

Ms. Wendy Hope

(Talent Tuesday)

So, I thought Ari would post this on one of her talent Tuesdays but she hasn't yet so I am. And Ari you're right, she does my kind of stuff which gets me excited about my own work and gets me motivated again... lord knows I haven't been truly motivated in a good minute....

But these are just a few of the images that interested me the most about this photographer.... :)

Motivational. Meaningful. Magnificent.

Happy Monday Everyone! 

Make your Monday Meaningful and Magnificent! Here's your motivation for the week, one word: Thanksgiving. For some the work week is shortened but we should be motivated by looking forward to gathering with family to share in the kickoff to the holiday season. Today make your Monday meaningful by extending your gratitude towards someone who doesn't have a family and friends to surround themselves with on Thanksgiving. Invite them to  dinner with your family. None the less have a magnificent day! 

Preparing for ThanksGiving Week

-Sunday Solace-
Wow! Thanksgiving definitely has creeped up on us huh.

Well lets prepare for this awesome week of giving and appreciation.

Challenge:
  This week think about one specific person that has positively affected you and your life the most. Think about how you can show your appreciation to this specific person.
And of course EXECUTE!
Also think about how you can give back to your community or people in need and how you can make their Thanksgiving special.

Although you should always find the time to show your appreciation for those who do for you, make this one exceptionally special. Go all out and truly make their day and put a smile on their face.

 

Stay *(I)nspired, Misha J

Christmas Inspired Styles

(Fashion Fwd Friday)

What style are you rocking this holiday season?

Making Spirits Bright?
Naughty or Nice?
Jingle Bell Rock?
Sweet Mistletoe
or Winter Wonderglam?

I think I'm loving the naughty or nice and jingle bell rock.

Talk.Talk.Talk

Wisdom Wednesday

Ever notice how someone always has something to say about you and what you are doing, 

how you're living your life?

Even family members have strong opinions about the choices you make in your life.

But reality is...family or not....people will talk. They'll give you an opinion when you don't even ask, but you have to realize you can't listen to all the chatter around you and have an appreciation for yourself and the choices you make in your life.

I realized this when I've noticed a family member of mine always have something to say about how I'm living my life. I used to begin to feel bad, feel as though I'm a failure and not living up to the "perfect girl" standard that I have been attached to all my life. Then I had to stop and think about it and decided that its not about anyone else but me, blood or not. I appreciate all love and support, but constant negativity I do not! I know what I am doing, I know what my plans and goals are, and I know that I'm working towards them and don't have to explain myself to anyone and thats all that matters. By no means am I saying ignore the family members' opinions who have your best interest at heart but for those members who are stubborn and have their own specific opinion about where you "should" be in life, why please them when you should be pleasing yourself?

So folks, people will talk, and they will continue to talk even when you are the happiest and satisfied with your life, they will talk, they will kick you when you are down but you have to focus on you and your own happiness and getting to where you want to be.

Stay *(I)nspired, Misha J

We Broke-Up! (Super Saturday)

It was Christmas Eve. The air was cold yet brisk. There was a light snow fall covering the city streets. It was about 7pm and I thought I would surprise my girlfriend with a visit. We hadn't spoken in a few days. I figured  it was because of the stress of final exams and getting packed up to go home for Winter Break. Crystal was very studious, sophisticated for her age, down to earth, loving and beautiful as ever. She was studying to be a teacher. Her dream was to reform education in our city give youth an outlet, a platform to want more out of life. That's where our passions collided... I was taking up political science and urban planning at my school which is about a three and half hour drive from the university Crystal attended. If I could tell anything the distance was putting a strain on our relationship. 

I arrived at Crystal's house which decorated so nicely for the season. Their yard resembled those homes you see on Home & Garden television (HGTV). It was amazing. Her dad was a landscaper so I know it was all Mr. Steel's crafting. I walked up the walkway, gift in hand trying to figure out if I should hide it or not. Should I say, "Surprise"? Or just charm her as I've always done. I rang the doorbell and Mrs. Steel answered. She greeted me with so much hospitality. “Oh what a surprise Desmond! It is so nice to see you,” said Mrs. Steel. I replied with greetings and a hug. We chatted for a few minutes about classes, the start of basketball season, and my mom’s annual Winter Gala in their homes foyer. The Steel’s had a cookie swap every Christmas Eve with their neighbors, friends, and family members so I was sure to bring a tin of my grandmother’s secret recipe cranberry oatmeal cookies for them to share. I handed the tin of cookies to Mrs. Steel and she went to go retrieve Crystal for me.

I didn’t want to fully intrude on their festivities so I stood in the foyer waiting, even after Mrs. Steel suggested I stroll through their huge home in Indian Village with her to find my sweetheart. When Crystal finally came into the foyer she had a look of disgust on her face. I reached in for a hug but she had yielded away and asked what I was doing there. She said, “Don’t you know not to just show up at people’s homes without calling?” I was confused. I thought she would be happy to see me. It had been since Thanksgiving since we’ve seen one another and about four days since we last spoke. To come to think of it, she was very short with me when we were on the phone that day. Crystal walked to cloak and retrieved her coat and said we should go outside for a walk. I agreed but that walk was from her home to my car.

This is how our conversation commenced:

          Desmond: Crystal I missed you! I called you the other day, to wish you luck on      your sociology final but you never called or even texted me back.

          Crystal: Well D, I didn’t think I needed to…besides I had studying to do.

Desmond: That’s understandable baby but a simple text back would have made me feel a little better.

Crystal was silent for a minute so I decided to break the ice a little. After all I didn’t know why she was acting like this. I grabbed a good amount of snow and shaped it into a heart. I tried to hand it to her but she wouldn’t take it. I told her it was a heart for my heart.

         

          Desmond: Crystal, what’s wrong? Talk to me..

         

          Crystal: Des you really don’t know what’s wrong with me?

          Desmond: I’m no mind reader Crys, what’s up.

          Crystal: Did you really think that I wouldn’t find out you were at school       sleeping with Robin?

My mouth dropped. I mean, what could I say at that point. From the sound of things she already knew what she wanted to know.

          Crystal: You know Des I really liked you. I always have. It was getting to the         point where I thought I was even in love with you. But I see you are no       different than the rest of guys our age. You’re trifling, low down, and a       schemer. All this time you’ve been messing with her Des?! Seriously….I can’t      believe you. And you have the audacity to come to my home on Christmas Eve like nothing happened? Answer me Des!

The way she was going on I didn’t know if I should answer or not but I saw this play out in too many movies not to say anything so this is the explanation I conjured up…

         

          Desmond: Crystal, I can explain…it’s not what you think…really it’s not…It         was a mistake one that I regret and will regret for the remainder of my life. I          don’t want her, I swear to you I don’t. I love Crystal Reese Steel and no one        else but God and my family.

She cut me off…guess she didn’t believe me.

          Crystal: Stop! Stop it Des! Don’t bring God into this or anyone else for that matter. Robin already called me and confessed to what she did. Now you’re standing here trying to down play it like some little mistake. Just be honest with me. You slept with Robin because I won’t sleep with you didn’t you?

There was no need of lying now so I confessed.

          Desmond: You don’t understand Crystal. All of the peer pressure it is to be a          young man on a college campus, let alone an athlete. The guys on the team talked about me because they knew I was celibate and a few weeks ago after          this party Robin was there and I was inebriated, I was drunk and we had sex but            that was it. I don’t like her; I don’t want to be with her. I’m sorry for what I did        and I hope you can forgive me for it.

As the truth spilled from lips, tears welled up in Crystal’s eyes and streamed over like the Falls of Niagra. What have I done I thought. I had just broken her heart.

          Crystal: I guess it is true. Robin’s story and yours add up. You know, I’d never       imagined I would be saying this but Des we have to break up. I appreciate your honesty but I need some time to myself.

She kissed me on the cheek still crying and turned to walk away. I reached in my coat pocket and pulled out her gift hoping this would change things and at least make her stay out in the cold winter air with me just a little longer.

          Desmond: Crys wait! I got you a gift.

She came back retrieved it, thanked me and walked up the stairs of her home. I stood there on the sidewalk and watched her leave me. At 19 years old never did I imagine I would have a broken heart. That night I lay in my room playing a whack R&B song called, 'why you have to leave me on Christmas'. The next day my dad asked me if Crystal would be joining us for dinner and all I could say was, “We broke up”.  

Truth Is....You Just Can't Exist

(Truth Is...Thursday)



This video speaks for itself...let's dialogue after you view it.

Are you living your life right now? Or do you just exist?

Steve Harvey has some words for you...

(Motivational Monday)

Love watching his show. He's too funny, a straight fool, but as much as he is a comedian he is real and so honest and have real things to say and share with his viewers...

On one of his previous shows he said, 

"Your career is what you are paid for...You're calling is what you're made for."

Often times you can get caught up in jobs that you weren't made for, but your calling should always be your focus. No matter what it is.

So, this week, think about what truly is your calling in this life and determine whether you have been making that your focus and if not....START NOW!

As Ari would say, Marinate On That.

Stay *(I)nspired, Misha J

Part 5 of One Wing (THE CONCLUSION)

     It was Ms. Shields, my favorite professor from college who had changed my life. By the end of high school I was fed up with my parents and I went to college with a messed up attitude. I just didn’t care. My grades gradually declined and I had been warned I would be soon put on academic probation, and then my parents spoke to me numerous times about taking me out of college. The time in college where I was supposed to be the happiest and feel the most free, I was depressed and trapped, until I met Ms. Shields in my Beginning Ballet course.

     She was unlike any of my professors. She wasn’t stark and cold, but had a heart and actually cared about each and every one of her students. I remember one day when it was nearing midterms, class had ended and as everyone left the room she asked me if I had a few minutes to meet her in her office. I didn’t know what she was about to tell me probably something about my academic probation.

     When I followed her to her office, we both sat down and she said, “Rae, I’ve been noticing something about you.”

     I quickly added, “Yea, yea, yea I know my grades aren’t the greatest and I probably won’t pass this class. Tell me something I don’t know.”

     “Uhh, no that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Actually, I wanted to ask you something,” she replied confused.

     “What? To not waste your time coming to class if I don’t wanna learn?”

      I’ve never seen a professor more confused than Ms. Shields while talking to me.

     “Rae, why are you so negative? I was going to ask you if you would be interested in assisting me with teaching ballet to a group of kids at a few middle schools I volunteer at?”

     I paused for a second and then replied, “Ms. Shields you do know…excuse my language…but you do know that my grades are shitty right? And you’re asking me to do this?”

     “Yea, I know they are, but look Rae, I know you are much more capable than the effort you’re exhibiting right now. When I see you dance, I see the passion in your eyes, the love in your heart, the ease and grace in your movements. There’s something about you Rae, and you need to realize it. You can go so far with your natural abilities to dance. As long as you have the passion, which you obviously do, that passion will drive you straight to greatness and success. So is it a yes or a no? By the way I never take ‘no’ for an answer.

     I remember thinking that if I had a “real” mother I would imagine that she would say something like that to me, so I took her offer and that experience changed my attitude, my grades, my social life, and everything.

      After those flashbacks ran through my head, I came back to reality and slowly walked towards Ms. Shields. We both hugged and she asked me how I was doing and what was I doing there. Once again I explained my dramatic story and crazy adventure I put myself into. I also asked her why she was waaaay out here at this youth center. She then told me that she decided to really become committed to teaching others the art of dance and came up with the idea to do a country wide tour to youth centers, community centers, and schools to educate and encourage underprivileged youth. Eventually our conversation lead to her asking me how my cousin was doing these days.

     “Uhhhmm, cousin?”

     “Yea your cousin, the who came to all of your performances in college.”

     So confused I replied, “Ms. Shields I don’t have any cousins the one uncle I do have never had any children, so you must have gotten her mistaken because my family never came to my performances, except for my dad who came to like one.”

     “No, she was very specific about you and told me about how you girls grew up together and how much you love dance.”

     “Ms. Shields, I’m telling you I don’t know who you were talking to but she wasn’t there for me.”

     

     With much surprise, she responded, “There was always a young woman sitting all the way in the back in the corner, and I would always tell her there are plenty of seats in the front, so that she can see the show better. She always refused, but was very polite about it and afterwards I would just chit chat with her every performance. She was tall, with straight long light brown hair, a small nose, average weight, very curvy, and she always wore these bright turquoise eyeglasses. Actually she looked a lot like you. At first I thought that she was your sister until she told me she was your cousin.” Yes, she was definitely there for you, she even showed me a picture of you two together when you were younger.”

     There was only one person I ever known to have turquoise eye glasses, but I continued to ask “So, wait, you’re telling me that this woman, my ‘cousin,’ was at all of my performances?”

     “Yes.”

     “Wow,” I said as I slumped down on the wall to the floor.

     “Rae you’re scaring me now because if you didn’t know that woman she must have been a stalker or something. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry Rae, I didn’t know. I would have reported her or something I would have-”

     “No, No, No, Ms. Shields that wasn’t my cousin. That was my sister.”

     “Your sister? I didn’t know you had a sister and why would she tell me she was your cousin?”

     All of a sudden a sense of urgency had come over me. Ignoring her questions I quickly asked, “Ms. Shields, I have a huge favor I need to ask of you.”

     “Yes, Rae what is it?”

     “Can you please take me to Norfolk Airport right now? A one way ticket to New York should be about $200 and you can have the rest of my money if you can just please take me?”  I was talking so fast you could tell she was beginning to panic.

     “Rae, why do you need to go to the airport right now? What is going on?”

     “Ms. Shields, please? I swear I’ll explain in the car, please?”

     Trusting me she gestured to Jillian that she would be back and we quickly left.

     On the way there, I told Ms. Shields about how I recently learned that Rocelyn went blind and about the type of relationship my sister and I had throughout the years. She was just in complete shock of everything because we emailed one another from time to time and had gotten pretty close but I never disclosed any information even remotely close to anything I had just told her. I just let it all out. I felt like I had to because I had been holding it all in for so long and I trusted Ms. Shields. She was like the mother I never had.

     When we arrived at the airport nearly an hour and a half later, I hopped out of the car and attempted to hand her about $50 not knowing exactly how much money I needed for the ticket, but she refused and even offered to sit with me at the airport.  Although I really wanted her to stay with me, I told her how much I appreciated everything that she had done for me and that I would be fine, especially since I didn’t know how long I would be waiting for a flight, being that it was extremely last minute. So, we parted ways and I told her that I would let her know when I touched down in New York and she reminded me that I could call her if I needed anything.

     To my surprise, I didn’t wait too long for a flight. I was on standby for just an hour and luckily I was the only one on standby for New York. In just under four hours I arrived at LaGuardia Airport in Flushing, New York. Of course, I didn’t know where I was going once I had gotten there, so I called Myles hoping he would answer. He didn’t answer. I called my dad, no answer. I really didn’t want to do this but I called my mom.

     Riiinnnnnggggg…..Rinnnnggggg…….

     “Rae?”

     “Yea ma, it’s me,” I said as I was trying to find my way out of the airport.

     “Rae, where are you?”

     “At LaGuardia Airport, where is Roselyn? Is she okay?”

     “YOU’RE IN NEW YORK?!,” she shouted.

     “Yea, I am. I need Dad to come and get me.”

     “We are all at the hospital and your dad is still trying to figure out what happened with Roselyn’s eye surgery, but I’ll come and get you. You need to be here.”

     “Uhhh-” I hesitated for a second, because this is the most normal conversation that my mother and I had since forever.

     “Rae, I’m coming to get you. Okay?”

     "Okay, I came in on U.S. Airways.”

     In about twenty minutes, my mother pulled up in what seemed to be my brother-in-law’s car. It was around three o’clock in the morning by now and I was exhausted. I hopped in the car hoping this wouldn’t be the most awkward car ride ever.

      “Hey,” I said, sounding as if I just got off a twelve hour shift.

      “Hey, Rae where in the hell have you been? And how in the hell did you get to New York by yourself?”

     "Long story.” I responded trying to keep this conversation as short as possible.

     “Rae, I don’t got time for your bullshit this time. Your sister is in need right now and I don’t got time to be worrying about your ass.”

     “You never worried about me before so why now?”

     “You know what? You are so right. I figured I’d humor your father for a bit, ” she said with a straight face.

      You would think I would be hurt by that comment she had made but I wasn’t and to think that when I spoke to her on the phone earlier I thought she was somewhat concerned about me. Not even Roselyn’s misfortune could change this woman. Whatever. She continued to rant as I closed my eyes, zoned her out, and drifted off to sleep.

    

     When I awoke, we were in the parking lot of Bellevue Hospital Center. We entered the hospital and took the elevator to the fifth floor and because of my sister’s circumstance her nurse was courteous enough to extend visiting hours for the immediate family. My mother directed me to her room while she went to find my dad to see if he had any updates on the situation.

     I opened door number 523 just slightly and peeked in. Richard was sitting in a chair across the room from Rocelyn’s bed just watching her. Entering slowing Richard got up quietly from his chair and walked over to me, hugged me and whispered, “She’s been dosing in and out of sleep, but I’ll give you guys a few minutes.”

      I nodded, waited until he completely shut the door, and walked over to my sister. Although her eyes were completely covered her beauty still shined through the bandages. I pulled a chair right next to the bed. This was the closest I had ever been to my sister. Something in me just wanted to hug her for as long as I could, but I just sat there nearly paralyzed, until words began to formulate in my head and escape my mouth.

     “I don’t believe you can hear me, but I’m sorry Rocelyn. I’m so sorry, Rocelyn. I’m sorry about what happened to you and I’m sorry that I never came to visit you and I’m sorry our relationship went stale. I didn’t know you came to all my performances and I’m so appreciative of that. I’m going to stay here with you for a few months and help you out with anything that you need. Like I said I know you probably can’t hear me but, I missed you, Roz. I missed us.”

     I leaned back into the chair and the words, “I heard you, Rae. I heard you, and what you gone do after you take care of me? You know you can't go back home and live with Ma. You should live with me,” came out of her mouth ever so lightly as if she was in a trance.

     Surprised by her response, I paused for a moment and replied, “Yea, maybe I will. Just have to do one thing before I do though.

"And what is that...?," she said as her voice faded away, and she drifted back into sleep.

 "Go on a country wide tour to teach dance.”